Hello and Welcome to My World!!!
First let me introduce myself by saying I may be different from you in some ways, but most definitely like you in all ways. I Am Human.
I was raised in Houston, Texas. A native of Polk County, I AM a country girl. My parents brought me to this place in my life by teaching me what was wrong and what was right. I thought everything in life existed because a God had made it for me to enjoy. I have lived long enough to understand now, that not everyone who says they believe in the God I believe in, see's life this same way. My bibliography would be boring if I left out the main topic of my conversations.
When I was seven years old, I came home from school one day after being bullied by the boy who wanted to kiss me, seven, can you believe that? Anyway, I walked in the house that day and before I could tell Mama what happened at school, she said she wanted to talk to me. As though she knew something was wrong, She told me this, she said, "Paula, If you ever feel like nobody loves you, always remember that God loves you." Well, the only God I knew, was Jesus, because that is who we were taught about on Sundays and that is the one Mama always said, Monday through Saturday, "Jesus hates liars, and I ain't whooping yo ass for what you did, I'm whooping you for telling the lie about it", so I understood her to tell me that day, that, that man, Jesus, loved Me, even if I was a liar, and for some reason I always lied about what I was doing, most children do. If Mama asked me what I was doing, I would say, "nothing". Telling a lie all the time, cause I was doing something I had been told by her not to do. I am sure I am different from you. That lying would take me through high school.
We lived in the Ghetto. The world is a Ghetto, whatever that means. We didn't know it was the Ghetto, that's what others called it who did not live there. Still not sure where that word came from and why, but if you know anything about The Fifth and the Gardens, those don't sound like Ghetto names to us. Fifth Ward and Kashmere Gardens are the best places in Houston to live. Rent is affordable, houses are affordable and the neighbors know each other and don't mind letting you know whose property you are on. They know it all belongs to God. I think , those two areas of town are probably the people that hold that whole city together. Most successful people from Houston, started off somewhere around those neighborhoods. You wouldn't really know that though, because once most successful people leave the neighborhoods that they grew up in, played in and learned who makes you the success you are, they never come back, give back or even show their parents that they appreciate what they did for them to help them be the success that they are, even if it was just giving them life. They just never come back to live and help that neighborhood be the place for others to gain such richness. Maybe, only I, was given the opportunity to go back to the place I called home and realize just what my parents really left me with. So much more than I gave.
When I was eleven years old, we moved into our home. At that time, my parents only paid $3000.00, with a $300 deposit, for our new home. My parents were divorced and living in seperate places, so this moving arrangement did not sit well with me because we had just moved into a rent house that I liked. It had a front and back porch where you could sit and spit watermelon seeds off the porch onto the grounds to see how far you could throw it with your tongue. When you live in the rural areas of our country, you have to , as children , develop amusing things to do. I loved the watermelon spitting game and now this was about to be taken from me because, the new house had a porch, but it was flat on the ground, you could not crawl under the house and play hide and seek, it was not my choice of houses and I guess at that age, I didn't realize it was not my choice to make. I gave in, Daddy said I could now have a dog since we had a yard, everythings cool. Hadn't played the watermelon game though. Been too long!
Another special, one of the most special times in my life, also happend when I was eleven, I considered myself to be, "saved", a term not used much lately. I started a more spiritual walk with Jesus at this time in my life, I became baptised with water. Yayyyyy for me, "I'm saved now from hell and I will live forever". That was my understanding at this age.
When I turned thirteen, I became a woman, you know, blood and stuff. Yeah, and it started on the first Sunday when I was wearing white at church. Too many sheets were torn that day. Very old fashioned parents. Enough said!
I'm fourthteen now and I have my first real job. I worked for the Houston Chronicle, at that time It was the Houston Post. I was in the nineth grade and wanted to help my mother with my school expenses and working was something that we, my sister and I had been doing with our parents for as far back as we were able to. They cleaned office buildings at night and we went to work and worked with them while we were there. The Fluor company and other big businesses, my favorite was the Carnation Milk Dairy. Wonder why? Duh, free Ice Cream you big dummy! Nothing like the BB, of course. (Blue Bell)
This working thing would keep me working throughout my high school tenure. In the tenth grade I worked for Der Weinerschnitzel, the Hotdog stand until the twelfth grade. The last three months of the twelth grade, to help with senior stuff, I, along with a good friend, from the help of her mother, worked as Turn Down Maids for the Hyatt Regency Hotel, fun, fun, fun. You might think that working as a Maid would not be fun, but at 17 years old, it was not only fun, but rewarding, we had chocolate candy to eat and got to see some celebrities up close and personal. I saw Lou Rawls, WOW! For anyone reading this and not familiar with this celebrity, use your internet.
I was sixteen years old when I entered into my first , girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. It was not the boy in high school that I had a crush on. It was not the boy next door who I was in love with. It was not even the boy that lived around the corner from me, who I went to high school with and had a crush on, wanted to go to the prom with, have his baby and be his boo. It was a girl that I worked with. Hmmmmm...........................
I'm twenty two and married to my boo and he's twenty six, but it was not love because it was built on sticks. So, we try again when I thought I had became a woman and now I'm twenty six and five more years lata and I call it quits. It was just an unequal yoke, we friends now. I know that he is out there somewhere some how.
At thirty three, I fall in love you see, but not with the idea of sinning, something I had never experienced before, but he was not the one either and I had to slam that door. It took twenty years, but I finally got slapped back and boy was I glad for that.
I thought it was her, but it was really me, searching for True Love you see.
Now, I got my heart back and emptied all the darkness. My soul is light and full of me. WOW, true love is great, maybe one day you will all see. The one true lover of all times, the man named Love is all mine. The mate to my soul and the one I want to hold forever.
